Lyra & Silks

Doubled up on aerials yesterday. First up, private lyra lesson at 1pm. I hadn't sent my teacher any requests. We worked on single knee cinch, she's challenged me to time these, extending the length of time I can hold it. I worked on getting my leg up and over the hoop in inverted prow. The idea being to do splits, but my splits? yikes. I bailed on momentum to seated during the first warmup, which was disappointing. My straddle was hard. I couldn't even cheat ball to the top of the hoop, we had to move on. It was just kind of messy. And I came away not feeling like I worked all that hard because things were just too hard.

The plan was to meet a friend for hooping after, she had expressed interest in learning how. So I had loaded up my hoops in my car. En route, she texts to cancel. Figures. I had still wanted to go do some hooping on my own, even though I forgot my baton, but by the end of my lyra lesson, I was feeling a little weepy, so I just came home.

I decided to go to silks last night at 7:30pm, to get more workout in. I talked to the teacher a bit about focusing more on the conditioning rather than the pretty poses, since I don't feel pretty when I try them, but I do enjoy feeling strong in conditioning. Last time, I had that meltdown with leg roll up. I was like, I'm never doing leg roll up again!

There were only two students, so it ended up being like a private lesson. And it went great! I did both warmup conditioning exericises with single wrist wrap: straight arm hang, knees to chest and shoulder lockoff, L sits. I did all four ball flows with single wrist wrap. I'm faster with russian climb, can get pretty much to the top with two climbs. By the time I've done the second climb, my hands are about a foot from the top.

I attempted leg roll up again, my demon. But only a single wrap. I did a basic footlock from the air, then one roll up. I'm discovering that footlocks can be tricky. From the ground, they're easier to get right, but it's still possible to get a bad footlock, which ruins anything after. From the air, they're even harder to get right. If you don't get your footlock right, you could be in for some pain.

Worked on clothesline #2 a bit. I have a distinct good side and bad side with this. But I didn't let it get to me.

We had a few mins at the end for free time. I wanted something on video. I got a hipkey. I want to get these consistent. So that I can do them from the air and be a bit higher off the ground. For now, this is what I have. And praise from my teacher! She gives such great praise. She even gave me a sticker for my accomplishment with leg roll up. I got a nice puffy hot pink eighth note and stuck it right next to that pose on my sheet. My teacher said that was the perfect sticker because I'm "rockin' it!"

100th

Today was my 100th day of lyra. Like a nerd, I've been tracking when I go to practice, however long.

They're closing down lyra classes at the Pineville studio. I wanted to go to some before they go away. Forever? Who knows.

And I did a scary thing! I did single knee cinch from the super high hoop. I can't touch the floor with my hands that high. So if my knee cinch isn't tight, I could fall on my head.

Sail and T lean out. It felt less awkward getting up into this than previous tries.


And something I've been working on. Single hip hang, no hand assist on the hoop. Also, to progress with this, I would grab my leg with both hands. I've graduated to just one hand now. Looking forward to showing my teacher during our private lesson on Tuesday.

Miss MoJangles

I got to take workshop with this lady last night. She's a celebrity among hoopers. She's super nice, too! I learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and am super sore today. Gee, sometimes hooping can feel just as strenuous as aerials.

Here's a lil sneek peek at her mad skillz.

Chin Up

Holy shit, y'all! I just did a chin up. First time ever! well, the video is the third time. I just decided to try it and did it and was like, did that just happen? So I waited a few minutes and tried it again. OMG, I totally did it again! Now I need it on video. I can do a chin up! AND I'm PMS'ing this week. I'm so stoked! Then I did a fourth and tried to pull my chin even further once I got up, to totally get into lock off. Now it's time to start incorporating chin ups into my training. Woot!

Balance

I've decided to ever so slightly scale back my aerial training and increase flow art training. I recently ordered a baton. I've always wanted to learn baton. I had one as a child, but never did much with it. I lacked discipline big time as a child. All I wanted to do was play. Focusing on any kind of practice seemed like work.

Starting in January, I plan to utilize this open area space for hooping and baton, twice per week. It's free, open 24/7. It's minutes away from the uptown studio, so it's a bit of a drive. And it's a bit public, which is nerve-wracking, but I think there's enough private-ish space that I can jam out peacefully. Like when I'm at the ice rink, and I get paranoid people might be watching. It's silly, but it happens.

My hope is driving there will give me the structure I need for hooping. I'll think, I drove all this way, I'm going to make the most of it. So, I'll scale back aerial training to twice per week, not three times. That would be way too much driving.

Ideally I could do both in one day. But I don't see that happening. I see myself too tired from one apparatus and will just want to go home after. Maybe someday I'll have the stamina...

And stay tuned for new adventures in baton! Here's hoping I don't suck.

Leg Wrap

Yea...I shouldn't have gone to silks tonight. Was a disaster. First, gridlock stressing me out, making me almost late. Then leg wrap. Goddamn leg wrap. I got seriously stuck and no one could really help and I just needed it off my foot so I started panicking and crying. I calmed myself in the bathroom after. But the damage had been done. I have been suspecting PMS onset for the last day or so, I really shouldn't have gone. Plus that time slot. I'm so over the traffic at that time.

New rule. No 5:45pm class. And no bothering with silks when I'm PMS'ing. fer fucks sake...

Visual Consumption Diet

My best friend says not to be ashamed of my emotions. It's actions that matter. So unless I'm sabotaging their hoops....lulz

I have body image issues. And performance issues (hello, derby and now lyra). And comparison issues. I have issues. I hate the phrase, I can't help it. I feel like I should be able to. Like, why can't I just be happy for these people and be patient and hopeful that it'll happen for me, too? But I can't. Or I'm not. Something.

I'm going on a visual consumption diet. I'm unfollowing certain facebook friends and instagram feeds that trigger ANY sort of negative thinking in me. Childish? Petty? Lame? Could be. But until I can stop being sad seeing so many people promote to intermediate lyra in a ridiculously short amount of time, while I'm still so far behind...so fucking far behind...I'm cutting out any and all potential heart hurty things.

Clothesline & Fang

Silks won out over lyra last night. I knew I wanted to do aerials, just wasn't sure which, until the last minute. I'm glad I went to silks. The heater was fixed (it was super cold Monday night). Aerials is no fun when it's cold. And I usually like cold. Hello! I used to be an ice skater.

Class went well, actually. I've had a couple rough classes recently. Even working on sideways middle split (#3)...which I wholly cannot do. I can't even get into position. It feels like I'll never get it, that feeling. Because it's so comically bad. I dislike any pose with the word "splits" in it.

My bad side for climbs seems to have switched. Teacher always says start with your bad side. So I did. It felt strong. My good side, not so much. Same with every round. I also saw marked improvement on hipkeys. The first couple rounds were a struggle. But something sorta clicked, and I ended up higher on the silks, with nice leg position, and that hipkey felt very solid. I wish I'd gotten video.

Straddle...I hate straddle. But my teacher showed me a trick to work on my stack. Spiderman pose. Invert back but catch both feet on the "pole" (that's what it's called in silks, don't ask me why). Then from there, I can work on pushing out the right muscles to get a good stack. It's a lot harder to get a stack on a pole. Then bring one leg out and eventually the other. Once I brought out the second leg, I came right out of it. But progress.

My videos are not great. The angle was bad. And I don't look as good in clothesline as I thought I did. Oh well. And my hand slipped off my foot, but not to worry, my knee cinch is well trained from lyra. All that slipped was my hand. But my teacher says this is a hard one and that it's impressive I was able to do it my first try. It's probably the knee cinch. This is called clothesline #2. Added bonus, a badass footlock from the air, yay!

This is called fang. My teacher wasn't even sure at first if I should try, she said it's a bit advanced. But we had just worked on a move called birdcage, which is just like bird's nest in lyra, so she said, watch me demo for the others, and if it looks like a lyra equivalent, you can try. And it's bent arrow. Which I was just working on to the top the night before. The video I got is of my bad side, and the angle isn't good for a nice screen capture. But I could do it. Well, with a double wrist wrap. It's fundamentals...we were all sporting double wrist wraps, even the more advanced students.

First Ball

Mark this day. Or...yesterday. I would definitely not say I have a DIB ball inversion under the hoop yet. Hell, I have had a semi-consistent DIB ball to the top for oh, a couple weeks now. Ball under? Not so much. Not at all, in fact. Until I tried overhand grip. And my teacher thinks that if I aim to catch my foot, it helps. And it did last night. Although, this was the only one that worked. Air quotes, worked. No other attempts happened. So DIB...is not there yet. But it's my first ball. Technically.

Such an awkward camera angle for pretty pictures. But more fun with bent arrow to the top.

Hi Carol

I'm a dork. You can hear the silks teacher say hi to me as I walked in for my private lesson last Monday...and my lyra teacher is doing this as I came in. And it makes me very happy that I'm somehow in this video.

Working on some super fun (and not at all painful) momentum in single hip hang today 😁 . . . . . . #singlehiphang #halfhiphang #lyra #lyraloveaffair #cerceau #hoop #momentum #hiphang #frontbalance #circus #circusfit #circusinspiration

A post shared by Satya (@satya_performance_arts) on Dec 4, 2017 at 11:41am PST

Tweaks

I hurt my back this week, on Wednesday. I was finishing up my second set of weighted hip thrusts. I was setting the dumbbell back in its cradle, 40lbs. And something happened. I froze, it hurt so bad. I've thrown out my back before, years ago. This wasn't as bad. But it was reminiscent. It subsided quickly and just remained as a slight tweaked feeling. Know that feeling? yea.

I did nothing Thursday, rested. Friday, I did my usual running intervals in the AM. And that fitandbendy video in the evening. I modified some of it, but the stretching really seemed to help. Today, I went to lyra. I wasn't sure if I should, but I'm so glad I did. Immediately into my hoop warmup, any traces of tweak went away. My back felt awesome. As I'm writing this, that little tweak feeling has returned a bit.

I saw someone do a pullover and use my cheat to pose with it. I decided to try. It's cool. Makes a cheated mount look somewhat intentional. At the end, you can see my struggle with ball. I just don't fit under the dang hoop. How the hell am I supposed to invert into it if I can't even fit to dismount out of it? le sigh...

And behold, a really awful attempt at ball to the top. But it's not totally cheated. I do get some lift to my ass, catch my foot, and fold on over. And my back is not super bendy in bent arrow, either. But this is an improvement, I think. It FELT like an improvement.

And then this, so pretty...

Peek

Yours truly, hooping...can only see me for a hot second at the end, in the black top with the black hair, but I'm there!

First indoor flow jam of the season was so much fun! New faces, new props, new things to work on. I adore these beautiful minds. Featuring @jami_e_lizabeth being her adorable little self 😍 @cj.strickland @coreypetrossnyder • • • #cltflowarts #cltfringearts #spineveryday

A post shared by Kathleen McNamara (@dilly_dabbler) on Nov 20, 2017 at 11:37am PST

Lovely

This is lovely...

Russian Climb

So...I still love/hate silks. I thought two weeks off would help. Class always starts off great, though. I really enjoy the strength stuff in the warmup. Climbs. Hipkeys. Ball flows. Straddle...not straddle. Straddle can eat shit and die. Footlocks from the air. All stuff that makes me feel amazingly strong.

I was too slow with my climbs last night, apparently. The teacher asked if I had finished. I still had one more each side. She asked if I minded moving on, acted like it was the best news ever, that no one would ever mind skipping out on climbs. I minded. I wanted to do them more. But I bit my lip. I didn't want to be a nuisance.

Then we moved onto poses. I hate every pose. I feel fat, ugly, awkward, clumsy...sometimes I'm in pain. Sometimes too much pain. I hate everything about every pose. Except standing lean. And you fucking learn that in your first fucking class. Well, letting go comes later. I like letting go. And maybe sail. Sail looks pretty, if I can keep my locked leg straight. But nothing else I've learned looks or feels good.

I wonder if I can email the teacher. Ask her if it's OK to just extend my warmup during class. When students are doing three hipkeys each side, maybe I'll do five. Or six. She wouldn't need to babysit me. These are all safe things, don't need guidance. I just want to feel strong.

I got video of russian climbs. Yes, I'm liking these more. I'm still split on whether I like them more than basic. It's a toss-up.

Hipkeys were terrible. I need to work on these more.

And I got video of footlock in the air. Well, sort of from the air. I'm standing on the ground. I eventually want to climb once, then try a footlock.

I also tried single footlock from the air. Mainly because the teacher wanted us to do sequencing. uhh, no. Can I just work on footlocks instead? She suggested single footlock from the air, since I'd never tried it before. This requires hanging by each fabric in each hand. I slip. I needed a wrist wrap for that. Maybe I can extend my warmup conditioning, straight arm hanging and lockoffs without wrist wraps.

So...by the end of the night, I weren't doing too good. Mentally. I have a motto...don't cry until you get to the car. I was emotional but held together. I was gathering my stuff, putting on my shoes, when a student I'd shared classes with many times arrived for the next class. She turns to me and says, we've never been properly introduced and held out her hand. I nearly lost it. Such a nice gesture from someone, nearly did me in. I hope I get a chance to take classes with her again.

Almost

Another quick update on my private lyra lesson today. I ALMOST got ball to the top. I had to swing a bit, but I totally caught my foot with my ass in the air. I need to get some video of my bad attempts so I'll have a reference point for when I do get it.

We also worked on bent arrow to the top. My back got super bendy. Maybe that horrible bendy video I've been doing is paying off.

She also wants me to work on getting into single hip hang without holding onto the hoop. We tried this. I grab one leg in front of me and lift the other leg out. But my free hand stays free. It's super scary. But I can work on this with the low hoop until I feel more comfortable.

I had also sent her two new pose requests...

We're calling this one twisted splits behind. (this is not me)		And then inverted prow, on a single foot. It's pretty. (again, this is not me)

Comedy Lyra

Front Balance Challenge

Quick note about my private lesson today. After the warmup, we spent a bit of time attempting ball to the top. I, of course, still can't do this at all, but my teacher insists it's closer than last time, that since we've been focusing on this during our lessons, it's closer each time. We worked on arrow/splits under, getting the legs to move at the same rate to prevent tippage.

After, my forearms felt quite sore and warm. I looked at them, and whoa, they were swole like popeye. Not even exaggerating. My teacher said it's just the fluid pooling under the skin, but holy moly, they were hyooge.

At the end, my teacher wanted to give me a new conditioning exercise to challenge me even more with my front balances. During warmups, I roll up, hold for three beats, then fold back down, all without touching the hoop with my hands. She wants to give me extra challenge. Dangit, I knew I shouldn't have shown her how good I was. Can't ever just be good at something, nope, gotta make it harder, I joked.

Anyway, the challenge is to fold up and hold, per usual, fold down halfway, then back up. I tried it and nearly couldn't get back up, but I did. She told me she was showing this to an intermediate 2 student in a private lesson just the other day, and the student couldn't do it. I guess I downplay a lot. Especially a skill that doesn't prevent you from promoting to intermediate. My teacher thinks I want everything I don't have. And I don't think that's completely fair. I don't get hung up over poses I can't quite do, and there are a lot. It's just inversions I'm hung up on. Because that is what's holding me back from intermediate classes.

She's impressed with how good my front balances are. She told me I have my straddle now. And instead of just being happy, I replied with, well I'm still jumping a little bit. I shouldn't downplay. I can work on that. If the teacher, the expert, says it's there? It's there.

AND since she saw me at practice while she was giving a private lesson on Wednesday, she commented, you did a lot at practice, do you normally do that much? uhh, yea. I'm there to work, so I work. She said she saw me working really hard, didn't take many breaks. Yep, sounds about right.

Happy

Yay, vacation! Yay, lyra! I can't think of anything funner to do on my day off than go to lyra. I also got to see a couple of my favorite people. My lyra teacher giving a private lesson to my former lyra teacher. She had a baby and has not returned to teaching. But she is on private track, like me, getting her lyra on. They're both lovely human beings.

Here are some highlights of the day! I'm sore already...I'm always sore. I'm having a bit of lunch and a beer, because yay, beer! Then I'll get started on all the fixings for tomorrow. I'm baking two cookie doughs, that way they'll be ready to bake tomorrow. Cornbread for the stuffing, so it can dry out overnight. It's not the holidays without this stuffing. I suppose one might call it dressing, since we're not actually stuffing the bird with it. But I call it stuffing. Oh, and I'm making a cream cheese pecan dip to munch on during the day tomorrow. It's a sweet and savory type dip, with brown sugar and worcestershire sauce. It's heaven. But it absolutely needs to rest overnight. The flavors get very happy.

This is angel, with a lower grip. I'm working on getting lower and lower. It's stupid hard the lower you go.

Pretty, not so much

Silks didn't go so well last night. I mean, it started out fun. As usual. My climbs are ever improving. Hipkeys. I even tried a straddle without the knot. It was ugly but doable. I tried basic footlocks from the air, starting to get these.

Then we moved onto poses. I just feel like I'm not meant for much pretty in silks. I'm not flexible enough for most positions. And my chunky body doesn't appreciate the fabric wrapping around tightly. I have certain levels of pain tolerance. Certain types of pain I'll endure more than others.

Poses that are a joke for me. Arabesque...there's this funky, flamenco grip to get into this. And it hurts my shoulders. I got into it once then had NO idea how to get out. I just stepped down. No other attempt worked. Then man in the moon. To get into this requires double leg wrap, plus a half wrap. And by the time I get to seated, the fabric is cutting off circulation at my ankle. Flamingo arabesque, the fabric squeezes my thighs so much, it burns.

My teacher could tell I was down. I was trying not to cry, trying not to look like I was throwing a tantrum, trying not to be a nuisance. We had free time at the end for working on what we wanted. I chose more basic footlocks from the air. It seems I'm only having fun with silks when I'm working on strength stuff. When I try to look pretty, it blows up in my face. So maybe next time...not sure when there will BE a next time...I'll ask the teacher if I can just extend the warmup. Work on climbs, hipkeys, and footlocks in the air. Maybe work on one new pose. Maybe.

Fish

Arrow poses to the top of the hoop are way harder than under. So much stabilization needed, in addition to the pose. But it's fun to feel my muscles working that much harder. I just wish I could proper ball to the top. I just can.not. Look at me cheat the hell out of it. But my teacher said it was OK.

So pretty!

And then fish! That's what I'm calling it because it looks just like the dance lift. My teacher said it didn't have a name, and when that happens, I name things.

Epiphany

OK, so it's taken me a lot of years to discover the one thing that has helped my depression more than anything, more than even antidepressants. And that's exercise. Hear me out. It's one very specific type of exercise. Not just any will do. And years ago, before I embraced my current active lifestyle, when therapists would tell me to exercise, "it helps depression!", I would want to punch them in the face. I believe any sufferer has to come to the realization on their own, that exercise helps. No amount of well-meaning suggestions from others is gonna help. It might just get you a punch in the face.

The exercise I do is running intervals. And I finally have a theory as to why this particular exercise works when nothing else does. I believe it's about getting my heartrate up high, but briefly, then being allowed to catch my breath, doing that a handful of times, for a short workout duration. Derby NEVER helped my depression, and those were 2-3 hours of high heartrate exercise. I've done hour long aerobics sessions, those don't help. A long walk doesn't work. It's got to get my heartrate way up but not be too strenuous.

I've even played around with the number of intervals. I've settled on five. I've tried three intervals, eight, ten. Five seems to be the minimum, for maximum results. More doesn't really result in better. Less doesn't work as well.

The thing is, I've had this theory about this specific exercise for over a year now. And yet...I quit running intervals in August. I was really trying to kick start weight loss. Again. And wanted to do long, incline walks to burn more calories. I'm talking an incline of like 8-10%. For an hour, hour and a half, depending on the show or movie I was watching on my laptop. (A laptop on a treadmill is a godsend.)

So I was walking, not running, in Sep/Oct. Remember September? I do. I had the biggest lyra meltdown. I nearly quit. I had emailed my teacher, cancel my private track please. She thankfully asked for feedback in a way that suggested she wasn't judging my decision or even the why. And through talking to her, I calmed down, got off the ledge, so to speak. I didn't quit. But it was dark in my brain for awhile there.

I've since started back with the running intervals, the last week in October, so it's been about four weeks now. And my mood has dramatically improved/stabilized. Wowzers!

But it hit me. Just last night. The reason my depression was getting so much worse...I wasn't doing my running intervals. It's not steady state running. Fuck that noise. I run for 1min. By the time I really start hating the running, it's time to walk. I walk for 2mins. By the time I've just caught my breath, it's time to start running again. Repeat 5x.

Granted, when I FIRST started running intervals, it was in 2013 with derby and C25K. I wasn't even able to run for a full minute. I built to that. Then, I kept getting stuck in the C25K program around week 4/5. Until I just decided to do my own intervals and not worry about increasing my running time. Instead, I increase the speed when it's starting to feel too easy. I started running at 4.5mph, I have short legs. I'm now running at 6mph. I was blogging back then and started noticing a pattern when I was running regularly vs my moods. Magic data.

I'm going to mention this to my lyra teacher at our next lesson. I don't think she holds any judgment against me for September. But I want to let her know my epiphany. Now I know. Now I REALLY know. I will have to run forever. I've found 3-4x/week is sufficient. More doesn't seem to give more. Twice a week, not so much. It's like taking medicine.

And in September, I went off my meds...

Aerial CLT, in the news

My studio, in the news! My home away from home! Fangirling all over Sarah...she's awesomesauce! My goal is to take trapeze with her someday.

Favorite Pose

Last night's silks went great. I mean, there's always something in class that's a hot mess. And last night's hot mess was man in the moon. I'd seen this before and didn't care for the look of it. I totally messed up getting into it, so bad my foot got so tangled in the fabric, another student had to help me get out. Embarrassing.

Climbs went well. The usual three attempts each side. I did one each side of basic. Then my teacher asked if I was going to try russian. Yes, yes, I just wanted to try my trusty basic first. I attempt a russian climb. I try to reset to do a second, fail. My teacher pointed out that I need to bring my top foot away before re-scooping. Again, I attempt and was able to perform a second climb up. I tried to then reset my feet back to basic, nope. I wasn't that high, so I just jumped down. Third attempt, I am able to do three russian climbs up to the top, I dangle and reset my feet to basic, success! Yayness! Maybe after some time, I'll learn to like russian climb after all. We'll see.

Hipkeys are pretty solid. I was even able to do one with both legs straight. My teacher then saw and told me to tuck. Maybe it's an intermediate move to do them straight leg? Dunno. I'm going to ask if I can try from the air next time: take a baby climb and hipkey in the air. I think I'm ready to try.

I also want to try straddle without the knot. The knot was helpful. But now it's sort of getting in my way. I'm going to ask if I can try without it next class.

And I also want to ask if I can work on foot lock in the air. I learned this once awhile back, struggled with it. I haven't worked on it again. I think my straight arm strength is there now, I'd like to ask to work on it. I'd love to be able to climb the silks, foot lock in the air, and go into the poses I know, higher on the silks.

Back to double wrist wrap with ball inversion. Silks students will want to progress to no wrist wrap for their grip. As I'm taking silks to help the inversion part, it really doesn't matter to me if I can hold the ball position with no wrist wrap. What matters to me is being able to invert into position without jumping.

This is my favorite pose. A little pathetic because this is the first pose you learn at your first silks class. Except you're not allowed to let go. Letting go makes it more advanced. When I first learned this, I got it on video. I actually needed to put my free hand on my knee to keep myself in place. I've gotten way stronger since then. It felt totally comfortable to let go completely. My first silks class was July 10. I didn't like it. I didn't take another silks class until October 19. I have been to eight more silks classes since, nine total.

AND that first class, this pose has a variation in seated. You basically come down to a single leg squat. I couldn't do it in July. Or even recently with another pose (cocoon) that requires a single leg squat. It hurt too much to fully descend. Last night? No problem. My teacher says I have gotten so strong in such a short amount of time. aww, shucks.

p.s. This was my 100th day in the air! I've been tracking when I go to aerial training. Sometimes I do two in one day, I count that as one. This also includes that first free half hour mini class...it's my 100th day in the air, no matter how long I spent training.

Sail Away

Silks was rough last night. Everything seemed hard, but I don't think I can blame my period. Not due for PMS for another week.

My teacher wanted me to try ball with no wrist wrap. I only got to single wrist wrap last time. And I could not do this. My grip is not strong enough without assistance on those little bits of fabric. I hate silks grip. Hipkeys were tough. I'm so over straddle on silks. 

Oh, and I take it back about russian climb. I don't like it. It's awkward to climb to the top, THEN you have to switch back to basic climb position to come down. I cannot hold on while I figure out some complicated reset of my feet. Nope.

Pose last night with silks wrapping around my thigh. I could NOT get enough slack to do this without more pain than my threshold could bear. And I endure a lot of pain for this sport. The teacher kept demo'ing. I'd get even more slack than she, and still my thighs are too big to get this. That flamingo arabesque pose, but she wanted my hips square, not open.

Not to mention, some of these beginner silks poses aren't all that pretty to me. There, I said it.

And silks just glaringly highlights everything I'm not good at. I'm not flexible. I'm not strong. I'm not thin.

I just...don't like silks. I'm bummed to have to say it. But I don't. I'm doing this because just doing lyra wasn't working well enough. I'm hoping this cross-training with silks helps. But damn, I wish it would go ahead and help already so I could quit silks. Once I get my lyra inversions, I'm dropping silks like a hot potato.

This pose is pretty, though. If way simple.

Burlesque Lyra

This woman...just a really cool human being. Delightfully weird.

Pullover

Oh my gawd, y'all! I did a pullover! DIB level. But I don't fucking care. I did it. I've never been able to catch my feet on the hoop before and finish pulling myself over. I did it today. First time, I lamented that I wasn't taking video. So this is my second attempt, but I was still able to do it. Yayness!

Arrow to the TOP

So...my teacher told me to cheat into ball to the top of the hoop. And then I was able to get into this pose. YAYNESS! The pictures aren't the best, I was spinning a bit. I'll definitely be working on this move more and will get better shots as I get more comfortable.

The first few tries, my teacher was spotting the hoop, to make sure it stayed in place (can see how it tips to the side a bit). But this particular try, since she had the camera, I was on my own for the dismount. I came back into ball, tucked, pulled as hard as my baby muscles would pull, and sat back down on the hoop. All without assistance. It was glorious.

I certainly didn't think I'd be doing this today when I got up this morning...

Goodbye

Pretty

Lyra last night. It's been over a week, since I've been focusing on silks. I'd like to think my muscles were seriously fatigued from the day before. But everything was hard. I decided to grab the highlights and just focus on the pretty.

Hipkey

Yay, my period ended. Strength has returned. Last night, I was able to do three climbs each side, three climbs up the silk. Of course, my final round, those climbs were teeny tiny. But they count. Far cry from last week, when my strength was zapped by hormones.

I also learned russian climb. I had heard rumors that if one were to learn russian climb first, one would never bother learning basic climb (sometimes referred to as american climb). I can confirm this is true. Russian climb is so much simpler and easier.

Also, I worked on ball flows (ball tuck, pencil, pike) with single wrist wrap. Gripping a single silk in your hand requires the tightest of grips. It's difficult. So when you're progressing with ball, you start with a double wrist wrap. It helps. My teacher suggested I try single wrist wrap. It was intense, but I could do it. Then my fingers were immediately sore. Eventually the goal is no wrist wrap.

There were three students in class. And I was the most advanced. There was a first-time student. And a second-time student. The second-time student is way stronger than I am already. So she'll breeze by me quickly. I hope the first-time student comes back. Silks is hard. But your first time ever, if you're not already like super strong? Hard doesn't even begin to describe it. If I had started with silks, I would probably have been so discouraged, I would have written off aerials forever. I started with lyra, which is more forgiving to true beginners, I think. I love lyra. All this silks work, which is hella fun after all, is really to help my lyra game. I belong inside the circle.

Hipkeys are coming along nicely. I was even able to do a decent one on my bad side, final attempt. I sort of said, this is my bad side, attempted it, and it went well. My teacher was like, that doesn't look like your bad side. Here's a video of my good side. And my teacher praise. I love praise. The teachers at this studio are excellent at making students feel good about their existing abilities.

And then more progression in single foot lock. I'm not bothering to upload the video I have. It was a hot mess. But I got into position. It's just the getting into, and out of, position was quite messy. End of class fatigue is a thing, yo.

This is called flamingo arabesque. I think. I'm terrible with remembering names of silks moves. Not sure why.

No Hands

My strength was lousy last night at silks. I'm due to start my period today. Warmups included climbs, three each side. I was able to do one each side decently. Then I tried for the second. Nope. Both sides. After that first step up, I just couldn't hold my body. The attempt still counts though at this studio. I tried a third time. Nope. Oy.

That flippy move I learned recently, we added another wrap, to make it a double. Then a triple. Yikes, the silks are tight in that position.

I almost nailed my hip key. I got one out of the three each side attempts, on my good side (the right side).

Then we moved onto single foot lock moves. My foot has been sore all week, now I know from these. I could feel it immediately. We progressed on from supported bridge last time, this time with no hands. You can see my mishap at the end, I was tired.

That knee cinch is really the only thing holding me in

October

Goals check-in for October
Here were my goals:

• stretch & strengthen bendy video once/week on Sundays
• hoop 3x/week for 10-20mins followed by pullup bar work (Sun/Wed/Fri)
• finish high hoop practice goals 
• no drinking except: Oct 14, Oct 28, Oct 30 (bookclub)
• finish scrapbooking projects
• lyra: twice this month, back to back mon/tue sessions 
• no weighing until Oct 27 (last Friday of the month) 

I spent all sorts of time last month, creating a table and giving myself grades. I have zero energy to do that every month. But seeing the goals listed again is helpful. I know where I came up short, where I succeeded, and what I need to focus on next month.

Goals for November...the theme for this month is mental health

• bendy video 2x/week...I've been doing well to get this banged out on Sundays. It's time to add a second day/week. Hubs is even keen to do it with me. This video is HARD! But I love the loosey goosey way I feel after I've finished.
• lyra on Saturdays plus 2 private lessons...anything else is just bonus
• silks on mon/thu except on private lesson days, unless I just FEEL like it
• run intervals 4x/week...no more easy walks, just a run. Again, if I FEEL like doing an entire 45min (run plus walk), then super. But at a minimum, run.
• diet break. no weighing. no bothering with progress photos or measurements. just eat more, keep adding protein to coffee, and focus on mental health
• vitamin D...turns out, I might have a deficiency. My bloodwork came back below normal. I have zero interest in taking a supplement. I've recently started taking a multivitamin, that should help. I'm also aiming to go outside for a few mins/day.
• hooping. I still haven't figured out why my desire to hoop has waned.
• crafty goals. I'm just gonna keep this here as a reminder. 

Foot Locks

OK. I braved the cold for silks class. (Fall has arrived, yay! but with a little too much vengeance. Temps dropped like 20 degrees practically overnight.) I also knew it would be a bit of a shit show, as my period is due to arrive in days. The week before I start always results in lack of strength due to hormones. Guys (nobody reads this, let alone guys) but guys, seriously, be grateful your hormones stay even throughout the month. This roller coaster ride of hormones is not fun; I'd like to get off. Pleaseandthankyou.

And guess what? Another "private" lesson. I was the only student. Last week, the rain kept people away. I guess last night, the cold did? I was hanging in there pretty well. We moved onto actual hip keys vs manual. Manual had gotten "easy" so time to try a real one. You pull up on the silks with them on the outside of one thigh. You sort of kick back with the other leg to scoop the fabric up over that leg, then shoot down with the original leg to secure the fabric. Then lean away from the leg that did the scooping, while keeping it tucked, and cinch it between your thighs so you stay put. It felt so close. I tried several. I would almost get into position, hold for a beat, but then slide down the silks. No big deal. I'm sure I'll get this with more practice.

Ball flows, which are ball into pencil and for my first time, into pike. Straddle mount practice. Then climbs. I did one to the top. I tried again and nope. Again and nope. My arms were spent. We reviewed the flippy move I learned last class, and I just could not lift myself up.

So we moved onto learning foot lock in the air. To practice this, I sat on the mats. Then I tried it in the air and again, close but not quite. I was hanging for a bit, struggling to execute but couldn't get the silks wrapped over my foot using only my other foot. At least I was hanging for the time required. Once I get the execution, I should have this.

Final bit for class, a move using single foot lock. By single or double foot locks, I mean one or both silks, wrapped around one foot. Thus far, I'd only learned moves using a double foot lock (both silks as "one" wrapped around my foot.) Last night, I learned a pose using one of the silks wrapped around my foot, with the other silk free.

Here it is. I think she said it was called supported bridge. I'm really struggling to remember the names of any of these moves. It's probably the first move I'm kinda proud of.

Heavy Lifting TB

Throwback to 2012, I took up heavy lifting. For pretty much the entire year. I quit when I started roller derby that November. There just wasn't time to get in three lifting sessions per week plus derby practice, which required a shitton more cardio endurance than strength. I found a folder my husband must have created for me, just called videos. It's basically all my lifting videos, for checking out form.

Here's me squatting 120lbs.
Damn, this makes me want to get back into heavy lifting again. So badass! But WHEN? When would I have time, for crying out loud...

OHP...this looks like 65lbs (I think those are 10lb plates on each side)

Deadlifting with the big girl plates, 135lbs

Bench pressing 83lbs

Ball on Silks

Guess what? My period is due. Again. Everytime I turn around, it's here again. Yesterday's lyra was going awfully. I couldn't understand why. My straddles were hard. I tried that same sequence from a few weeks ago and bailed before mill circle; just couldn't bring myself. I also tried to get on video that new move I learned, tilted fold. But failed.

I spent a lot of time on back balances. Straddle back balance seemed to click, felt way more secure. My front balances, they're part of my warmup. And I was able to lift up and hold for three beats with no hand assist. In my private lesson last week, my teacher was complimenting my front balances, saying she has some intermediate 2 students who struggle with it. Lovely. So are these like my mohawks in derby? Everyone was envious of that skill of mine. But big whoop. It's not part of assessments. It doesn't make me a great player. So I can do a front balance well. Big whoop.

I took to the silks for a bit, to get ball on video. I'm jumping a bit still. And I just cannot dismount to lockoff, no matter how hard I try. But I no longer have to catch my foot. I sure hope this helps lyra ball.

After, I treated myself to some chocolates and a pedi. There's a chocolate shop in the same center as the pedi place, so I picked out my chocolates and got my toes done. The pedi place serves wine.

Chocolates
top row: milk chocolate salted caramel, peanut butter, espresso mocha, coffee hazelnut
bottom row: strawberry champagne, cookie dough, maple cream (my favorite), dark chocolate salted caramel

Proof

Here's proof of my climb! Hubs was impressed. He likened it to climbing the rope in gym class, which he could never do. Neither could I.

It was at the end of class, when we had a couple minutes of free time. I wanted evidence of my climb, so that's what I chose to work on. My favorite bit? My teacher was watching. And the comment she made at the end...all the good feels.

And then a flippy kind of move. I forget what it's called. My guess is it's simply a transition move to others. Still, everything I'm learning is on a full foot lock, which is getting boring. But I remind myself I'm not taking silks to have fun, per se. I'm taking it for conditioning, for lyra. Climb and ball work will help lyra. I wish I'd gotten my ball on video. Next time...

Tilted Fold

Three cheers for private lessons! I got one on silks the other night, by accident. And had my lyra private lesson today. I love those days. I look forward to every lesson. There are no other students to compare myself to, just myself and what I could/couldn't do yesterday. And all the attention from the teacher. I like attention. I just don't know how to ask for it.

We worked on more single knee cinch variations, with her spotting. These are hard. Turns out, I've been focusing so much since starting lyra on my lower core, I've perhaps neglected my upper core. I've got more conditioning exercises to do. If I can slow down that "drop" my upper body does when I let go of the hoop, my single knee cinch stands a chance of keeping the position. And I won't fall on my head. This is always a good thing.

Worked on more back balances. New flexibility training, scorpion back balance, grabbing my ankles. This is similar to the bow pose in yoga but you know, harder...balancing on a lyra hoop. This is meant to build up to a drop, from back balance to knee cinch. But my flexibility isn't there, especially in my quads.

Ball to the top, while she holds the hoop. It always swings forward when I try. She swears it's improved. It doesn't feel improved. It's a combination of tucking my big ass up, KEEPING it there, while pushing back against the hoop with my grip. I'm tired of saying, I'm never gonna get this. It really will be microscopic, painfully slow improvement, until one day, I'll look back and absentmindedly think, oh yea I used to not could do this.

She taught me a new move. I haven't been sending her new move requests lately. Partly because I'm just not finding many new ones and partly my mood suffering. This is a move I've never really seen, I don't think. I like it. It's called side ball, but she hates that name. I thought of side tuck. But I think it needs something even fancier. Like tilted fold!

At the end, she wanted me to spend a moment on my favorite pose, to help me feel amazing, end on a high note, as it were. What's cool about the new move I learned is I can then slide down into hip hang, which is perfect for getting into my favorite pose. I think I might call it, falling arabesque.

Speaking of...now that I have a new, fancy way to get into hip hang, maybe I can finally send her this transition I saw from dragonfly. Currently, my only fancy way of getting into hip hang is from dragonfly. Part of me was like, I don't want to ruin my only pretty way into hip hang. I should have known there would be other ways.

I might even go to silks class tonight. We'll see...I never did go to lyra on Tuesday.

Climb

I got my first climb on silks! I was struggling with the bit where I had to dead arm hang whilst kicking up my feet for the next climb. So we did some conditioning arm hangs, and after a few, I was able to hold my weight, so back to the climb. Just needed the right muscles to fire. Silks definitely works different muscles, or the same muscles in different ways, than lyra. Took a couple more climb tries, but then I finally did one, got to the second climb!

And by we, I mean the teacher and me. There were two no-shows to last night's class. Bad rain in the area earlier was probably the culprit. I essentially got a private silks lesson. It was fab! I like this teacher. She's one of the first I met, so I feel comfortable around her. New people make me nervous. And group classes already make me nervous, so I don't need a double whammy. I even took a flexibility lesson with her once. That was awesome...but expensive. For flexibility training? With my super inflexible body? I didn't want to pay that much. But I digress.

I learned several new poses. Didn't bother with pics or video. All of them use a single foot lock with both silks, so they're not even that high in the air, not really all that impressive, in my apparently not so humble opinion. Or too humble. Not sure which. I think of these silks classes as conditioning for lyra. But I won't be able to do much if I can't master climb. So, yay.

I also saw a much improved ball inversion. I was jumping but only a bit. I didn't have to catch my foot against the silks. I was also able to stack my spine and shove my hips in the air by "pulling" on the silks and then straighten my legs for a pose called pencil.

Tonight, I hope to make it to lyra practice. I'm sore, but it'll be good conditioning, as I have my private lyra lesson on Thursday.

I am allowed

Mood & Energy

The thing about me is, I can get knocked down by extreme disappointment and depression...but after the fog clears a bit, I can sit down and tweak my plan to give me renewed hope.

Yes, my weight is a CONSTANT source of frustration. My lack of strength and flexibility, too. I'm lazy, tired, sad...all the time. You name it. But here's what I can do about it.

• Running intervals. I KNOW these do wonders for my depression. So why did I quit doing them? I thought maybe walking on the treadmill for 45mins, 4x/week, would be enough. Obvs not. Instead, I'll run my five intervals, then finish walking, during that same 45min time period, 4x/week.
• Increase protein. I don't really like protein shakes, per se. But today, I mixed protein powder into my coffee. It's delicious! I needed a whisk to really get it dissolved, but that worked like a charm. Yay, more protein!
• Silks. Gonna give this 8-class pass a proper go. My plan is silks class on Mondays. Lyra on Tuesdays and Saturdays. On Thursdays, I'll either have my private lyra lesson or silks class. That means FOUR aerial practice days/week. 
• Sleep. I need to get more sleep. I plan to start going to bed a bit earlier and not watch TV in bed. Instead, read. I want to read more anyway. 

I'm hoping with this tweaked plan, what it will ultimately improve is my mood and energy. Without those, nothing else works. 

Jinxed

Well...I jinxed it, my straddle. I couldn't do it today. I might just be really sore from silks. I couldn't even jump into it. I'm never going to get these inversions. I'm never going to get to go to intermediate classes. I'm going to run out of moves to learn. I'm never going to feel like a member of the studio tribe.

I also took measurements today. And found this website that asked for all sorts of measurements, to estimate one's body fat. It said mine was just over 40%. Obese. I guess BMI wasn't wrong. Why do I even bother? I walk for 45mins, 4x/week. I go to lyra 3x/week. I do this damned stretch and strengthen video once/week. I also try to hoop and do some pullup bar work a couple times/week. My diet is great! Carbs reasonably low, protein reasonably high. I can't imagine eating any differently. I log/weigh everything. Nothing is fucking working! I've had bloodwork done many times in my life, it all comes back normal. There's nothing wrong with me except me. I'm what's wrong with me.

Cross Training

This is how I cross train. I've decided to take a bunch of silks classes in the hopes it will improve my inversion game with lyra. I dislike silks. The grip, mainly. And it's HARD. There's no rest. It's all strength without a lot of reward. At least for now. I can't climb, so there's not much pretty I can do yet. I'll just think of class as conditioning. I may not bother with photos or video much, since I'm not all that impressed with what I can do.

And I'm so fucking sore...

Straddle

I don't wanna brag or nothing...I also don't wanna jinx it...but my straddle feels pretty much "there." I'm not really jumping or kicking anymore. I just sort of fold back. I mean, everything could always be polished up a bit. But I don't think it's really DIB-level anymore.

Too bad none of my other inversions are making much of any progress. There's no way I'm going to be intermediate ready by February, my lyra-versary. I almost did ball the other night with my pullup bar at home but didn't want to risk going fully upside down. Except when I try ball on the hoop, nope. Not even close.

Here's my warm up sequence. It's exhausting. But does the job. I run through it twice. And by then, I'm sweating.

I went through this lovely sequence once with my camera, that died in the middle. It still had "time" left on the battery but just decided to shut itself off. Rude. So I rested up a bit and ran through it again with my phone video. Can tell I'm tired, but it's a pretty sequence.

Arrow Variations

Today's lyra lesson:

• Back balance, with straight legs. Apparently, I already straighten one leg for leverage without realizing. So practice shall include trying to back balance with both legs bent (scorpion) and both legs straight (more difficult). Also worked on leg block variation of back balance (one leg straight up in the air). No pics yet.
• Ball to the top. We're going to work on this every lesson because she can hold the hoop for me. It swings out when I try by myself. She said it's already much improved since last time. Last time, all I could do was hover my butt over the bottom of the hoop and wiggle a little, clearly unable to do any kind of tuck, invert. Today, I could tuck more, thanks to working on this with my pullup bar. Still no inversion tho.
• I wanted to work on a transition from arrow to single knee cinch. Rather than just be in a double knee cinch and bring one leg out, I wanted to work on a release with one leg on the hoop, let go, straight into single knee cinch. But I wanted a spotter. Safety first! I might ask to work on this again next lesson, before I'll risk trying it on my own.
• Arrow variations, fun! My teacher wants me to practice arrow more with overhand grip. boo, kicks rock. But it will help, since arrow to the top of the hoop is always overhand. In my video at the end, I went back to my trusty underhand grip. But I promise I will practice overhand. Learned two variations, one with an arched back, bent back leg. Another with a hook over the opposite leg from tofu hook. What the what? She demo'd it for me and said, you might not be able to get back up into the hoop, that's ok, just slide down to the floor. But guess what? This chick could easily get back up, and my teacher praised me for it.

What a dork. I just realized watching the video that my teacher intended to spot me, releasing into single knee cinch, but it never occurred to me to do that. That would have made a pretty transition to capture on video. boo. I'm such a dork.

And that's it. That hour goes by fast, y'all. I grabbed a screenshot from the above video. So pretty...

Toes to bar

I've been working on this, with my pullup bar at home. I also try to work on it during my hoop warmup, assuming I'm not at the pineville studio, with only the high hoop. I still don't feel brave enough to drop to an arm hang up there. If I can't get back up into the hoop, it's too far to drop down. (And it's really, super difficult to do toes to bar from the low hoop.)

Mine are about eye level now, with bent legs. But I found this video, to let me know I need to make sure not to let my head dip back. I have no idea if I'm doing that or not, I've never paid attention.

sadness and despair

My period arrived early this morning. That means, up until last night, I was a pressure bubble of sadness and despair. Typical for just before. I didn't want to go to lyra. I made myself. And I regretted that decision. Yes, it's possible to regret a workout. Sometimes, it can make things worse.

My head is clearer today. In fact, I noticed the MOMENT my brain started to right itself. It felt as if a faucet had been turned on, you know like when the a/c kicks on and you can suddenly feel cool air? That's what it felt like. I emailed my husband to tell him he should be grateful he's a boy and never has to endure that sensation of feeling like the world is going to end yet in the next moment, oh wait, everything's fine, I think. I still feel a bit emotionally hungover.

Strength was shot last night. Even my trusty side mount was hard. Everything was super scary too, way up there in the high hoop. But I made myself do a back balance. I didn't let go, of course. But I got up there.

stupid ball

Ball is just...not there. Like the first time I ever tried a straddle mount was eleventy million percent better than my ball. There's something not clicking. Especially to the top. And so yes, I'm whining again. There are all sorts of moves unavailable to me simply because I can't invert into a little ball to the top of the hoop. I'm running out of ways to pose in and under the hoop without that. It's frustrating.

I can do pretty moves like this...

and this...

but no ball...

What if you're wrong?

I'm seeing a new therapist. It's been years since I've been in therapy. I've been in and out of various therapists' offices for decades. I thought it was time to try again. Although, breaking in a new therapist is hard, so hard. But I like this one so far, three appointments in.

She said something to me that stopped me in my tracks. I whine a lot about inversions. I whine to my teacher, who simply says, it'll happen. I whine to my friend, who commiserates with, stupid inversions. I whine to my husband, who says, you'll get it.

All well intentioned uselessness for me. (but maybe I should stop whining...)

But I was whining yet again about them in therapy. I told her I just didn't believe I could ever do them properly, that I missed out on childhood muscle memory, I didn't start out fit enough, I'm too heavy, too inflexible, too weak, blah blah blah. She simply said...

What if you're wrong?

huh. I'd never had anyone phrase it that way before. It's her job to challenge me in a gentle way, unlike anyone else in my life, who love me but just don't know what to say to make me feel better. It's not her job to make me feel better. It's her job to derail my script. And she certainly put some brakes on that train of thought.

What if I'm wrong? That would be nice. I'm certainly not opposed to admitting when I'm wrong. But what if I'm wrong? I sure hope I'm wrong.

I went to lyra immediately after my appointment. And got this video. I'm still jumping, but I wanted to see if I could jump but not LOOK so much like I'm jumping. No kicking one leg, no bending knees to jump. Not too shabby, eh? For a DIB straddle.

And first time ever, ankle hang! Ta Da! It's terrifying, so I've had to get over the fear. It also hurts like a mother fucker. That's all my bodyweight pressing a metal hoop on the delicate insides of my feet. I had to just ignore the pain. It's not much now, but I've been working on this for months. I'll get there. It'll look badass!

Derby Dream

I dreamt last night about my former derby captain. She was horribly cruel to me earlier this year. She probably doesn't think so, in fact told me so, in a very cruel manner, in front of others who simply looked the other way. But I won't let anyone invalidate my feelings, especially her.

In my dream, I ran into her in some kind of cafeteria. She smiled at me and asked me to sit with her. She patted my back and said I deserved to feel proud of my time with the team and my skills. She didn't apologize. But it was like, she could be human to me despite what happened.

Do I think she'd be this way to me if I came to her in real life? Not even remotely. But as Cinderella says, a dream is a wish your heart makes. And this was my subconscious telling myself, with her voice and face, that I deserved to feel proud. I was a derby skater, I bouted. And nothing she said or did can take that away.

She sure tried. She and our coach left me off a short roster, saying they'd rather skate short than skate with me, but they sent the other team the roster with my name on it. So everyone from that team, skaters I knew, thought I was supposed to be skating, because duh, I was on the roster. Not to mention her "pep" talk. Let's just say, she has no business giving anyone a pep talk.

But I prefer the dream version of her.

September Grades

September is over. How'd I do on my goals?

13 lyra sessions. Mon/Thu/Sat	I missed one, sort of. Got 12.5 sessions. That Monday where only the low hoop was available, left after 20mins. Went the next day, Tuesday, but skipped Thursday. I did about 20mins of hooping, instead. I'm glad I adjusted and did SOMEthing. Was back at it by Saturday. I'd give myself an A for this goal.
Dial in diet. Weigh myself at the end of Sep. Measurements, too.	My diet was ON POINT, except for the couple of days after vacation at the beginning of the month. I've gained since last time I weighed myself, and after a month of diligent dieting and no booze, I'm still up a couple pounds. Enough to put me back in the obese BMI category. Fuck BMI. Measurements have not changed. I took progress photos but haven't looked at them yet. A-
No drinking the adult beverages.	I had wine on Saturday, Sep 30, but otherwise, September has been dry A+
Walking. I need to up my NEAT. 4x/week.	There were 17 planned walks, I missed 5, in the beginning of the month when my a/c was broken. I'd say this is quickly becoming a habit of mine. solid B+
Hooping. 2x/week. Sun/Wed	There were 8 total. I missed 4. However, I hooped 2 other days this month besides Sun & Wed. This obvs needs work. I'll revise this goal for October. D
Social Media break.	Yep, did well on this. Amazed how much I don't miss it. If someone forgets to reply to my message, then I'll just move on.

Okie dokie, let's plan some goals for October, shall we?

• stretch & strengthen bendy video once/week on Sundays
• hoop 3x/week for 10-20mins followed by pullup bar work (Sun/Wed/Fri)
• finish high hoop practice goals 
• no drinking except: Oct 14, Oct 28, Oct 30 (bookclub)
• finish scrapbooking projects
• lyra: twice this month, back to back mon/tue sessions 
• no weighing until Oct 27 (last Friday of the month)