Monday, January 21, 2019

Done

I have made a decision.

After two years of lyra, I'm taking a break. One might call it quitting. Go ahead. I just...can't do it anymore.

I can't invert. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being in a sport where I can't do the basics. Everyone else can. My teacher claims it took her "forever" too. A year and a half, I think she said. It's been two years. And I'm not even close. Not.even.close. It's not going to happen.

I thought maybe I could ignore it, do what I was good at, just enjoy what I was good at. But new moves are becoming problematic. Why take private lessons if I'm not going to at least be learning something new sometimes? And I'm sick of the studio offering fun workshops that I can't take all because I can't fucking invert. I left my last private lesson so discouraged. My teacher tried to teach me single leg pullover. What the what? I can't even do a normal pullover with both legs. I knew this would be epic...epic failure. And it was. So we went back to pullover. And that was a failure. I'm tired of failing. My body just won't do an inversion. It just won't. And I'm done. For now.

I dunno, maybe one day I'll miss it so badly, I'll want to come back. But for now, I'm done.