Comedy Lyra

Front Balance Challenge

Quick note about my private lesson today. After the warmup, we spent a bit of time attempting ball to the top. I, of course, still can't do this at all, but my teacher insists it's closer than last time, that since we've been focusing on this during our lessons, it's closer each time. We worked on arrow/splits under, getting the legs to move at the same rate to prevent tippage.

After, my forearms felt quite sore and warm. I looked at them, and whoa, they were swole like popeye. Not even exaggerating. My teacher said it's just the fluid pooling under the skin, but holy moly, they were hyooge.

At the end, my teacher wanted to give me a new conditioning exercise to challenge me even more with my front balances. During warmups, I roll up, hold for three beats, then fold back down, all without touching the hoop with my hands. She wants to give me extra challenge. Dangit, I knew I shouldn't have shown her how good I was. Can't ever just be good at something, nope, gotta make it harder, I joked.

Anyway, the challenge is to fold up and hold, per usual, fold down halfway, then back up. I tried it and nearly couldn't get back up, but I did. She told me she was showing this to an intermediate 2 student in a private lesson just the other day, and the student couldn't do it. I guess I downplay a lot. Especially a skill that doesn't prevent you from promoting to intermediate. My teacher thinks I want everything I don't have. And I don't think that's completely fair. I don't get hung up over poses I can't quite do, and there are a lot. It's just inversions I'm hung up on. Because that is what's holding me back from intermediate classes.

She's impressed with how good my front balances are. She told me I have my straddle now. And instead of just being happy, I replied with, well I'm still jumping a little bit. I shouldn't downplay. I can work on that. If the teacher, the expert, says it's there? It's there.

AND since she saw me at practice while she was giving a private lesson on Wednesday, she commented, you did a lot at practice, do you normally do that much? uhh, yea. I'm there to work, so I work. She said she saw me working really hard, didn't take many breaks. Yep, sounds about right.

Happy

Yay, vacation! Yay, lyra! I can't think of anything funner to do on my day off than go to lyra. I also got to see a couple of my favorite people. My lyra teacher giving a private lesson to my former lyra teacher. She had a baby and has not returned to teaching. But she is on private track, like me, getting her lyra on. They're both lovely human beings.

Here are some highlights of the day! I'm sore already...I'm always sore. I'm having a bit of lunch and a beer, because yay, beer! Then I'll get started on all the fixings for tomorrow. I'm baking two cookie doughs, that way they'll be ready to bake tomorrow. Cornbread for the stuffing, so it can dry out overnight. It's not the holidays without this stuffing. I suppose one might call it dressing, since we're not actually stuffing the bird with it. But I call it stuffing. Oh, and I'm making a cream cheese pecan dip to munch on during the day tomorrow. It's a sweet and savory type dip, with brown sugar and worcestershire sauce. It's heaven. But it absolutely needs to rest overnight. The flavors get very happy.

This is angel, with a lower grip. I'm working on getting lower and lower. It's stupid hard the lower you go.

Pretty, not so much

Silks didn't go so well last night. I mean, it started out fun. As usual. My climbs are ever improving. Hipkeys. I even tried a straddle without the knot. It was ugly but doable. I tried basic footlocks from the air, starting to get these.

Then we moved onto poses. I just feel like I'm not meant for much pretty in silks. I'm not flexible enough for most positions. And my chunky body doesn't appreciate the fabric wrapping around tightly. I have certain levels of pain tolerance. Certain types of pain I'll endure more than others.

Poses that are a joke for me. Arabesque...there's this funky, flamenco grip to get into this. And it hurts my shoulders. I got into it once then had NO idea how to get out. I just stepped down. No other attempt worked. Then man in the moon. To get into this requires double leg wrap, plus a half wrap. And by the time I get to seated, the fabric is cutting off circulation at my ankle. Flamingo arabesque, the fabric squeezes my thighs so much, it burns.

My teacher could tell I was down. I was trying not to cry, trying not to look like I was throwing a tantrum, trying not to be a nuisance. We had free time at the end for working on what we wanted. I chose more basic footlocks from the air. It seems I'm only having fun with silks when I'm working on strength stuff. When I try to look pretty, it blows up in my face. So maybe next time...not sure when there will BE a next time...I'll ask the teacher if I can just extend the warmup. Work on climbs, hipkeys, and footlocks in the air. Maybe work on one new pose. Maybe.

Fish

Arrow poses to the top of the hoop are way harder than under. So much stabilization needed, in addition to the pose. But it's fun to feel my muscles working that much harder. I just wish I could proper ball to the top. I just can.not. Look at me cheat the hell out of it. But my teacher said it was OK.

So pretty!

And then fish! That's what I'm calling it because it looks just like the dance lift. My teacher said it didn't have a name, and when that happens, I name things.

Epiphany

OK, so it's taken me a lot of years to discover the one thing that has helped my depression more than anything, more than even antidepressants. And that's exercise. Hear me out. It's one very specific type of exercise. Not just any will do. And years ago, before I embraced my current active lifestyle, when therapists would tell me to exercise, "it helps depression!", I would want to punch them in the face. I believe any sufferer has to come to the realization on their own, that exercise helps. No amount of well-meaning suggestions from others is gonna help. It might just get you a punch in the face.

The exercise I do is running intervals. And I finally have a theory as to why this particular exercise works when nothing else does. I believe it's about getting my heartrate up high, but briefly, then being allowed to catch my breath, doing that a handful of times, for a short workout duration. Derby NEVER helped my depression, and those were 2-3 hours of high heartrate exercise. I've done hour long aerobics sessions, those don't help. A long walk doesn't work. It's got to get my heartrate way up but not be too strenuous.

I've even played around with the number of intervals. I've settled on five. I've tried three intervals, eight, ten. Five seems to be the minimum, for maximum results. More doesn't really result in better. Less doesn't work as well.

The thing is, I've had this theory about this specific exercise for over a year now. And yet...I quit running intervals in August. I was really trying to kick start weight loss. Again. And wanted to do long, incline walks to burn more calories. I'm talking an incline of like 8-10%. For an hour, hour and a half, depending on the show or movie I was watching on my laptop. (A laptop on a treadmill is a godsend.)

So I was walking, not running, in Sep/Oct. Remember September? I do. I had the biggest lyra meltdown. I nearly quit. I had emailed my teacher, cancel my private track please. She thankfully asked for feedback in a way that suggested she wasn't judging my decision or even the why. And through talking to her, I calmed down, got off the ledge, so to speak. I didn't quit. But it was dark in my brain for awhile there.

I've since started back with the running intervals, the last week in October, so it's been about four weeks now. And my mood has dramatically improved/stabilized. Wowzers!

But it hit me. Just last night. The reason my depression was getting so much worse...I wasn't doing my running intervals. It's not steady state running. Fuck that noise. I run for 1min. By the time I really start hating the running, it's time to walk. I walk for 2mins. By the time I've just caught my breath, it's time to start running again. Repeat 5x.

Granted, when I FIRST started running intervals, it was in 2013 with derby and C25K. I wasn't even able to run for a full minute. I built to that. Then, I kept getting stuck in the C25K program around week 4/5. Until I just decided to do my own intervals and not worry about increasing my running time. Instead, I increase the speed when it's starting to feel too easy. I started running at 4.5mph, I have short legs. I'm now running at 6mph. I was blogging back then and started noticing a pattern when I was running regularly vs my moods. Magic data.

I'm going to mention this to my lyra teacher at our next lesson. I don't think she holds any judgment against me for September. But I want to let her know my epiphany. Now I know. Now I REALLY know. I will have to run forever. I've found 3-4x/week is sufficient. More doesn't seem to give more. Twice a week, not so much. It's like taking medicine.

And in September, I went off my meds...

Aerial CLT, in the news

My studio, in the news! My home away from home! Fangirling all over Sarah...she's awesomesauce! My goal is to take trapeze with her someday.

Favorite Pose

Last night's silks went great. I mean, there's always something in class that's a hot mess. And last night's hot mess was man in the moon. I'd seen this before and didn't care for the look of it. I totally messed up getting into it, so bad my foot got so tangled in the fabric, another student had to help me get out. Embarrassing.

Climbs went well. The usual three attempts each side. I did one each side of basic. Then my teacher asked if I was going to try russian. Yes, yes, I just wanted to try my trusty basic first. I attempt a russian climb. I try to reset to do a second, fail. My teacher pointed out that I need to bring my top foot away before re-scooping. Again, I attempt and was able to perform a second climb up. I tried to then reset my feet back to basic, nope. I wasn't that high, so I just jumped down. Third attempt, I am able to do three russian climbs up to the top, I dangle and reset my feet to basic, success! Yayness! Maybe after some time, I'll learn to like russian climb after all. We'll see.

Hipkeys are pretty solid. I was even able to do one with both legs straight. My teacher then saw and told me to tuck. Maybe it's an intermediate move to do them straight leg? Dunno. I'm going to ask if I can try from the air next time: take a baby climb and hipkey in the air. I think I'm ready to try.

I also want to try straddle without the knot. The knot was helpful. But now it's sort of getting in my way. I'm going to ask if I can try without it next class.

And I also want to ask if I can work on foot lock in the air. I learned this once awhile back, struggled with it. I haven't worked on it again. I think my straight arm strength is there now, I'd like to ask to work on it. I'd love to be able to climb the silks, foot lock in the air, and go into the poses I know, higher on the silks.

Back to double wrist wrap with ball inversion. Silks students will want to progress to no wrist wrap for their grip. As I'm taking silks to help the inversion part, it really doesn't matter to me if I can hold the ball position with no wrist wrap. What matters to me is being able to invert into position without jumping.

This is my favorite pose. A little pathetic because this is the first pose you learn at your first silks class. Except you're not allowed to let go. Letting go makes it more advanced. When I first learned this, I got it on video. I actually needed to put my free hand on my knee to keep myself in place. I've gotten way stronger since then. It felt totally comfortable to let go completely. My first silks class was July 10. I didn't like it. I didn't take another silks class until October 19. I have been to eight more silks classes since, nine total.

AND that first class, this pose has a variation in seated. You basically come down to a single leg squat. I couldn't do it in July. Or even recently with another pose (cocoon) that requires a single leg squat. It hurt too much to fully descend. Last night? No problem. My teacher says I have gotten so strong in such a short amount of time. aww, shucks.

p.s. This was my 100th day in the air! I've been tracking when I go to aerial training. Sometimes I do two in one day, I count that as one. This also includes that first free half hour mini class...it's my 100th day in the air, no matter how long I spent training.

Sail Away

Silks was rough last night. Everything seemed hard, but I don't think I can blame my period. Not due for PMS for another week.

My teacher wanted me to try ball with no wrist wrap. I only got to single wrist wrap last time. And I could not do this. My grip is not strong enough without assistance on those little bits of fabric. I hate silks grip. Hipkeys were tough. I'm so over straddle on silks. 

Oh, and I take it back about russian climb. I don't like it. It's awkward to climb to the top, THEN you have to switch back to basic climb position to come down. I cannot hold on while I figure out some complicated reset of my feet. Nope.

Pose last night with silks wrapping around my thigh. I could NOT get enough slack to do this without more pain than my threshold could bear. And I endure a lot of pain for this sport. The teacher kept demo'ing. I'd get even more slack than she, and still my thighs are too big to get this. That flamingo arabesque pose, but she wanted my hips square, not open.

Not to mention, some of these beginner silks poses aren't all that pretty to me. There, I said it.

And silks just glaringly highlights everything I'm not good at. I'm not flexible. I'm not strong. I'm not thin.

I just...don't like silks. I'm bummed to have to say it. But I don't. I'm doing this because just doing lyra wasn't working well enough. I'm hoping this cross-training with silks helps. But damn, I wish it would go ahead and help already so I could quit silks. Once I get my lyra inversions, I'm dropping silks like a hot potato.

This pose is pretty, though. If way simple.

Burlesque Lyra

This woman...just a really cool human being. Delightfully weird.

Pullover

Oh my gawd, y'all! I did a pullover! DIB level. But I don't fucking care. I did it. I've never been able to catch my feet on the hoop before and finish pulling myself over. I did it today. First time, I lamented that I wasn't taking video. So this is my second attempt, but I was still able to do it. Yayness!

Arrow to the TOP

So...my teacher told me to cheat into ball to the top of the hoop. And then I was able to get into this pose. YAYNESS! The pictures aren't the best, I was spinning a bit. I'll definitely be working on this move more and will get better shots as I get more comfortable.

The first few tries, my teacher was spotting the hoop, to make sure it stayed in place (can see how it tips to the side a bit). But this particular try, since she had the camera, I was on my own for the dismount. I came back into ball, tucked, pulled as hard as my baby muscles would pull, and sat back down on the hoop. All without assistance. It was glorious.

I certainly didn't think I'd be doing this today when I got up this morning...

Goodbye

Pretty

Lyra last night. It's been over a week, since I've been focusing on silks. I'd like to think my muscles were seriously fatigued from the day before. But everything was hard. I decided to grab the highlights and just focus on the pretty.

Hipkey

Yay, my period ended. Strength has returned. Last night, I was able to do three climbs each side, three climbs up the silk. Of course, my final round, those climbs were teeny tiny. But they count. Far cry from last week, when my strength was zapped by hormones.

I also learned russian climb. I had heard rumors that if one were to learn russian climb first, one would never bother learning basic climb (sometimes referred to as american climb). I can confirm this is true. Russian climb is so much simpler and easier.

Also, I worked on ball flows (ball tuck, pencil, pike) with single wrist wrap. Gripping a single silk in your hand requires the tightest of grips. It's difficult. So when you're progressing with ball, you start with a double wrist wrap. It helps. My teacher suggested I try single wrist wrap. It was intense, but I could do it. Then my fingers were immediately sore. Eventually the goal is no wrist wrap.

There were three students in class. And I was the most advanced. There was a first-time student. And a second-time student. The second-time student is way stronger than I am already. So she'll breeze by me quickly. I hope the first-time student comes back. Silks is hard. But your first time ever, if you're not already like super strong? Hard doesn't even begin to describe it. If I had started with silks, I would probably have been so discouraged, I would have written off aerials forever. I started with lyra, which is more forgiving to true beginners, I think. I love lyra. All this silks work, which is hella fun after all, is really to help my lyra game. I belong inside the circle.

Hipkeys are coming along nicely. I was even able to do a decent one on my bad side, final attempt. I sort of said, this is my bad side, attempted it, and it went well. My teacher was like, that doesn't look like your bad side. Here's a video of my good side. And my teacher praise. I love praise. The teachers at this studio are excellent at making students feel good about their existing abilities.

And then more progression in single foot lock. I'm not bothering to upload the video I have. It was a hot mess. But I got into position. It's just the getting into, and out of, position was quite messy. End of class fatigue is a thing, yo.

This is called flamingo arabesque. I think. I'm terrible with remembering names of silks moves. Not sure why.

No Hands

My strength was lousy last night at silks. I'm due to start my period today. Warmups included climbs, three each side. I was able to do one each side decently. Then I tried for the second. Nope. Both sides. After that first step up, I just couldn't hold my body. The attempt still counts though at this studio. I tried a third time. Nope. Oy.

That flippy move I learned recently, we added another wrap, to make it a double. Then a triple. Yikes, the silks are tight in that position.

I almost nailed my hip key. I got one out of the three each side attempts, on my good side (the right side).

Then we moved onto single foot lock moves. My foot has been sore all week, now I know from these. I could feel it immediately. We progressed on from supported bridge last time, this time with no hands. You can see my mishap at the end, I was tired.

That knee cinch is really the only thing holding me in

October

Goals check-in for October
Here were my goals:

• stretch & strengthen bendy video once/week on Sundays
• hoop 3x/week for 10-20mins followed by pullup bar work (Sun/Wed/Fri)
• finish high hoop practice goals 
• no drinking except: Oct 14, Oct 28, Oct 30 (bookclub)
• finish scrapbooking projects
• lyra: twice this month, back to back mon/tue sessions 
• no weighing until Oct 27 (last Friday of the month) 

I spent all sorts of time last month, creating a table and giving myself grades. I have zero energy to do that every month. But seeing the goals listed again is helpful. I know where I came up short, where I succeeded, and what I need to focus on next month.

Goals for November...the theme for this month is mental health

• bendy video 2x/week...I've been doing well to get this banged out on Sundays. It's time to add a second day/week. Hubs is even keen to do it with me. This video is HARD! But I love the loosey goosey way I feel after I've finished.
• lyra on Saturdays plus 2 private lessons...anything else is just bonus
• silks on mon/thu except on private lesson days, unless I just FEEL like it
• run intervals 4x/week...no more easy walks, just a run. Again, if I FEEL like doing an entire 45min (run plus walk), then super. But at a minimum, run.
• diet break. no weighing. no bothering with progress photos or measurements. just eat more, keep adding protein to coffee, and focus on mental health
• vitamin D...turns out, I might have a deficiency. My bloodwork came back below normal. I have zero interest in taking a supplement. I've recently started taking a multivitamin, that should help. I'm also aiming to go outside for a few mins/day.
• hooping. I still haven't figured out why my desire to hoop has waned.
• crafty goals. I'm just gonna keep this here as a reminder.