Splits

I give up on back to back Lyra days. It's just not going to work. Not necessarily because my muscles are tired, although that's a factor. My mental toughness is tired.

More pullover work today. A student I'd never seen before came up to me and said, if it makes you feel any better, I've been doing that move since I was 8. I just said, it doesn't. Anything that starts with, if it makes you feel any better, is just not going to end well.

More arrow work, which I liked. I can do this. I'm worse with my left leg for some reason. But get it pretty well with my right. Into splits under the hoop. I'm NOT flexible, like at all. So mine is more a deep V under the hoop.

Candlestick

Lyra today. Lyra tomorrow.

More single hip hangs. More pullover. You know...shit that hurts. Or that I can't do at all.

But this was fun, called Candlestick.

Ugh, Meh, Ouch

Not a great lyra class tonight. Every move was something I either couldn't do or couldn't do well or hurt. Pullover? Invert yourself into foldover position, hip cinch. Right. I feel like I'm never going to be able to invert, in any way. It was like, jump as high as I can, collapse in a loud thud. Embarrassing.

Then single hip hang. My beginner variation was with a leg straight up, instead of down outside the hoop. But still, it HURT. I have dark bruises on my pelvis from working on foldover both Sunday and Tuesday. Hanging on a single hip hurt even more.

Momentum, this time from knee cinch. My teacher spotted me, holding her arm over my calves, but the idea is to tightly cinch the knees to hold yourself on the hoop...and swing. I did it a few times. She praises absolutely everything, so it's really hard to tell what I'm good at and what she's just saying I'm good at, just being nice. 

Another move called Sail. Standing in the hoop, holding the straps, turning around, and leaning out. This was just awkward and uncomfortable, hurt my feet.

Finish up with some "fun" spinning. I couldn't even do this. Supposed to balance on my pointed toe, other toe at knee, spinning the entire hoop around with you. But I don't have much point, and it HURT.

Nothing about tonight was fun or made me feel good about myself. Didn't bother with video. I'm trying really hard not to feel discouraged. Maybe some wine will help...

Final Beginner Class

Tonight was the final class in this eight week beginner course. I'm so glad I did it. But I'll miss having Lyra on Tuesdays. I'm considering a Wed/Sat/Sun schedule vs Thu/Sun. That might require some schedule rearrangement. We'll see...

Momentum. Eventually the idea is to swing up and back into seated. But for now, this is what we learn. I'm just glad my grip doesn't give out as I drop down. I bought a pull up bar for the house, going to work on shoulder lock outs and negative pull ups/lowering down. No progress tonight with inverted straddle. boo.

Then a final class sequence that the teacher put together for us. I only had one chance to run through this. I really need to point my toes. Plus smooth out a new move, the climb back up into inside mermaid from foldover. Oy. And you can see my ridiculous attempt at straddle dismount.

I watched the other students, how easily they can do inverted straddle, how much prettier they look in these poses, how much thinner they are than I am. I didn't let myself get completely discouraged. But I couldn't help but notice.

Gazelle & Arrow

Got arrow! Sort of. I mean, it's progress. From not at all, on Thursday. Today, into position but not "pretty." Eventually, I'll get into it smoothly. Got a photo earlier in the class, better positioning, but I was spinning pretty fast, so the photo is blurry. Yay spinning! And upside down? So fun!

Learned gazelle, too. So pretty!

Also worked on momentum a little, dead hang, swinging legs front and back. Eventually the idea being to swing yourself back up into seated. And got to feel what it's like to do splits behind the hoop from a proper height.

Unicorn

Yay for progress! Even if it's small. Like, I mean small. The TINIEST breakthrough on inverted straddle. Which of course we worked on. But I asked if I could work on it from dismount. I don't think it does me any good to try to invert if I can't even hold the position for even a moment. So I used my trusty side mount (getting pretty good at that, btw), then immediately got into position for dismounting via straddle.

Tried a few times. Nothing. All my bodyweight leaning against the hoop, so heavy. The last attempt, I kicked back and just paused there. My legs weren't correct, they were about halfway between straight up and where they should be. But it was something. I held it. This is progress.

I decided something. I decided that when I get this inverted straddle, my unicorn, I'm going to start talking to myself differently. I'm going to tell myself, there's nothing I can't do in Lyra. It's just a matter of training my body to actually do it. I might actually get this inverted straddle. And when I do, there's nothing I can't do.

Of course, I have no video evidence. At the end, I thought about getting video of me trying. But I decided not to. We were a full class. I just took a few moments to try again. And again, I got that kick out, incorrect position halfway down, but at least I held it.

Attempted a move called Arrow. Oh man, it looks amazing. I couldn't get into position, of course. Not yet. But when I do, that's probably gonna be my favorite pose to date. Also attempted a fold back mount into resting on the bar on my pelvis (like the dismount I did from front balance, where I just flip back over the bar). Of course, mounting was not happening. It was a little embarrassing, especially when other students tried to give me tips, telling me to jump. I did jump. That's my lame attempt.

Yea so...pretty much everything I worked on last night, I couldn't do. Yet.

Quieter Landings

Whew! I was beat. Mounting the hoop takes a lot of energy. And I did it multiple times last night. My video, at the end of class, is showing a very tired Q. I struggled to remember the move I JUST LEARNED. It's Lion but with extended legs and torso folded over the hoop a bit. But I just forgot, I tried to remember, but couldn't. Oh well.

And a new dismount from front balance. I land with a loud thud. But during class, when I was dismounting from side mount (Delilah), I landed with a whish. And the teacher turned and said, you've gotten way quieter. I KNOW! Yay! That's the goal. To just ever-so-gently touch down.

Single Leg Hooping

Progress. I went outside to do a bit of hoop dance. Have been feeling down, knew a bit of movement would (eventually) brighten my spirits. Three minutes in, it starts raining. boo.

I decided to work on two hoop split in my living room, with my 37" polypros. This is coming along, I think. I'm definitely further than I was, when I was just a hot, uncoordinated mess. It helps to close my eyes. What's happening is I can finally keep the waist hoop going, but the chest hoop is lopsided and knocks into the other hoop. Once that happens, they both fall. I think I'll get this eventually. Just gotta keep practicing.

Then I wanted to work on single leg hooping. I got my bigger 40" hoop for this. I worked on it for a solid 20 or so minutes. Toward the end, I was able to do it three times. Not well, but I did it. What is happening most of the time is the hoop drops below my standing knee. Keeping it above the knee is tricky. And the more I try to think about correct timing, the more I mess up. It goes better when I just pick my leg up when it "feels" right. I also tried just awkwardly spinning the hoop on one leg, free leg already out. I could maintain the spinning pretty well, until I lost my balance.

I don't have any video. I was in a tank top and undies. But one day, I'll have video.

Discouraged

Here's the thing, I have bad days. My anxiety and depression become just too much to overcome. Yesterday's Lyra class was...not so good. I didn't get any chance to work in the higher hoop with my new mount. The teacher had me work on inverted straddle. But not from dismount. Just kept trying to kick up and falling every time. I felt like this was stupid. I mean no disrespect to my teacher. But honestly, if I can't hold the straddle position from dismount, how in the hell am I going to mount into it? It's just not going to happen. Duh!

I'm going to ask Katie on Tuesday about how much say I have in what I work on with each fundamentals class. Working on that inverted straddle, humiliating myself, just triggered all the bad thoughts. I wanted to switch and work on things I'm good at, to feel better about myself, but nope...we moved onto working on extensions. Right. I couldn't even do splits as a child. This is why I got dropped from rhythmic gymnastics and ballet. I'm not naturally flexible. In fact, I'm naturally INflexible. I'm never going to be flexible enough for splits as an adult. I don't even want to bother trying. It's not going to come.

There are times when it's fun to learn/work on something new. And then there are times when I just need to work on what I can already do well. Like sequencing. I know a lot of pretty moves. I'd rather just review them, try to put them together in a sequence. I'm going to ask the teacher if I'm allowed to ask for that.

My eight week beginner course is almost done, just two more. That will leave me with my usual Thursday/Saturday with Tanya. But no classes with Katie. The pro to the Thu/Sat classes are those powder coated hoops. The Sun class, the location has metal hoops. Which are more slippery when I sweat. But I like Katie as a teacher. I feel she gets me better, my discouragement, she's more understanding and patient when I get stuck inside my own head. I just feel safer being sad around her.

I think, overall, it'll be better to go on Thu/Sun.

Mount!

Ah, Lyra. It's a LOT more fun when you can mount into a proper hoop, meaning it's not practically on the floor. I can side mount (delilah?), and tonight it was much easier than Tuesday. I'm exhausted. But exhilarated and excited. Lots of E words.

At this point, it'll be like starting over, reviewing all previous skills in the higher hoop. That's fine by me. It's so different up there, so different. Not sure why. Gravity works the same whether you're two feet off the floor vs five or so. But it doesn't. It's not the same. It's just not. Trust me.

Having a Ball

I did a cool thing! I mounted a higher hoop! It ain't pretty or graceful. But dammit, I did it. (I guess it's called a Delilah mount.) And then dismounted with Ball inversion. I can hold the position just fine. I can't mount into that position. YET.

I even worked on cross leg mermaid into sleeper with this hoop. It's a larger diameter than I'm used to. I didn't feel so squished. But it's metal. And when my hands sweat, it's very slippery. I'm looking forward to Thursday's class with the powder coated hoops. And I can't wait to show my other teacher what I can do!

And then for kicks, here's a stillframe...

Lion, again and again

Incredibly busy weekend. Two Lyra classes, plus...other stuff. Let's review Saturday...

Basically a repeat class. Worked on Stag, Lean Out, and Lion again. Review for me, new moves for a couple other students. I was able to polish it up some.

Sunday. This was a mistake, in hindsight. The whole day. A friend had asked me to walk the river trail with her in the morning. I thought, it's just a walk, that's lower body; lyra is upper body. The trail is seven miles. It was a beautiful day, and I enjoyed myself. But by the time I got to lyra class, I was a bit tired. And I learned something. When I'm tired, the worst thing is my inability to fight off discouragement. It just washed over me.

We worked on dismounting again with inverted straddle. But this time, we were able to use a slighter higher mounted hoop. We had to work a bit harder to get up there, but I was able to get up there by swinging one leg up onto it and hoisting myself up. I was able to get into full inverted straddle position. But guess what? I wasn't able to hold it. All my bodyweight was leaning on the hoop. As soon as I let go with my legs, they collapsed. So...no progress. Not even a little bit. I was just over it.

Then more review of the same moves. I didn't complain, but man, I did not want to work on the same freaking moves three classes in a row. But it was a little funner getting into Lion on a higher hoop. I could at least let my free leg drop straight down. I didn't bother with video. I was not in the mood.

Lesson learned. I won't say never again, no Saturday and Sunday classes in the same weekend, but I need to be well rested and ready to go if I'm going to do that.

Lion

Awesome Lyra tonight! So much fun!

Worked on some conditioning exercises, to help my grip. Then worked on a three move sequence. It was so fun! Stag into Lean Out into Inside Lion

Then worked on elbow hangs, with spinning. I love spinning. But like headless spins in figure skating, looking at the ceiling makes the dizziness worse for me. But it was still fun. I'm gonna have bruises inside my elbows, for sure. When do I not have Lyra bruises?

Destiny

"You see, one's destiny is a very complicated thing. Every incident in a person's life affects everything else that follows it."

Let's talk about my destiny. My biggest, most important life event was marrying W. If I hadn't moved to CT from GA, all on my own, I never would have wound up in NC. That is a nutshell of a much more complicated story. But still. I never would have met W if I hadn't made that painful move to CT. I shudder to think.

But on another note, let's talk about my old friend Nancy. She and I met online years ago and instantly hit it off. She was a roller derby skater, I was a figure skater. She passed away suddenly from a blood clot in her leg. She was the inspiration behind going to my first roller derby bout, just to see what it was she did on skates. And I came away from that bout wanting to do it, too.

I won't get into the sob story that is my derby career. But suffice to say, derby got me in shape. Or more accurately, I got myself into shape hoping I would be good at derby. Derby got me into hooping. I did rhythmic gymnastics as a child, hoop is one apparatus. Also I have memories of trying to break records for amount of time waist hooping in high school. But hoop dance never occurred to me. What got me into hooping was researching ways to work your core, all for derby. I bought my first weighted hoop and simply did waist hooping as cardio for many months. I needed ways to make it more challenging after awhile, and that's when I discovered hoop dance.

Fast forward a bit, hoop dance helped me find Lyra. Just searching for ways to dance inside the hoop. And conveniently, there's an aerial place that teaches Lyra locally. It coincided a bit with my decision to finally leave derby behind me. If I were still skating derby, I wouldn't be able to devote as much time to Lyra.

There you have it. I can thank Nancy for it all along.

My Lyra Teachers

I stumbled across some beautiful footage of my teachers and just had to share.

Miss Tanya isn't alone up there, beautiful badass with a baby bump!

And not to play favorites, but this is just stunning! Katie is my first teacher.

They are both so positive. And what I want most is to soak up their positivity, to stop being so hard on myself, to just enjoy what I can do and work towards what I can't. Yet.

Inverted Ball

No pics or video from Lyra last night. I regret that now because I learned a new dismount, and I should have gotten evidence of it. It's called Ball Inversion. Basically suspend upside down from hands with legs tucked up/ankles crossed by your face, then they tuck through between the bottom of the hoop and your body, roll out. Since I can't quite mount up into the higher hoops, I practiced this on the lower hoop. And since my hands are placed on either side of my legs (rather than in between my legs for inverted straddle), a bit higher on the hoop, I could actually clear the floor in position (my neck rests on the floor for inverted straddle). And y'all, I held the position. I'm upside down, my legs are not touching the hoop, all with my own grip strength. Then I could roll my legs through and down.

This means, when I can actually get myself up into those higher hoops, I've got the dismount down already. hehe

HoopSkating

What the hell, I'll post this, no one's reading anyway. My camera was acting up, turning itself off after about a minute. I didn't get much video because I didn't realize it was no longer recording. I have this video, a 30 second video, and a 16 second video. Stupid camera.

This is the whole video, it cuts out on its own. It's not pretty. Hoopskating is difficult. My garage is not ideal, the ceilings are too low. And it's hot. I suppose if I had an outdoor practice space, it would be just as hot.

Anyway, here's my attempt at hoopskating. Without an ideal practice space, not sure how quickly I'll improve. But it's fun!

More Mermaid

This is coming along. It still feels awkward but less so. I wanted to work on it with sleeper like before, but class was crowded, so I didn't ask. At least I got video from the front and not of my butt. Also, you can see my thigh bruises through my tights.

So there's inside mermaid, outside mermaid, and cross leg mermaid. Anymore mermaids?