Superstition

Superstition time. Never fails, when I'm looking forward to practice...I have a lousy one. Like last Thursday. My stamina was off. My knee was hurting. The drills and feedback were just overwhelming. My spirit felt crushed. No more anxiety. Just melancholy.

OR...when I dread practice, it goes well. Like Sunday. Working on walls with very low attendance, which meant I had to take turns as jammer. ugh. I had a pretty good go at it. I didn't get through, hell no, I never get through. But I was strong and felt stable. I even growled. I was just mad and tapping into that to get more power, I guess. That's my theory.

Another round as jammer, they wanted me to come in hot, so they made me back way up. meep. I guess the captain saw something in my face, skated over to me, looked me solid in the eyes and said, "You're a fucking strong skater. Don't skate over there as if you don't know what to do. You know what to do. Hit them hard, illegally if you have to; over time you'll learn how to make it legal." I tried not to cry. One of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.

And I did. I hit the wall hard. I hit it legally. I almost got through. And then I met a powerful shoulder. 

At the end of practice, another skater said to me, "you get better every practice." So yea, it was a good night.

I need to not let it go to my head, or I might start looking forward to Thursday. Can't have that...