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What I'm saying vs What I really mean

I need to check myself at derby practice, what comes out of my mouth. Somewhat for myself, a fake it till I make it attitude. But also for my teammates. They don't want to hear my bullshit. They don't want to hear my negativity.

What I'm saying: I can do this!
What I really mean? I suck at this!

What I'm saying: This is fun!
What I really mean? I can't breathe!

What I'm saying: Thank you!
What I really mean? I'm sorry!