Jinxed

Well...I jinxed it, my straddle. I couldn't do it today. I might just be really sore from silks. I couldn't even jump into it. I'm never going to get these inversions. I'm never going to get to go to intermediate classes. I'm going to run out of moves to learn. I'm never going to feel like a member of the studio tribe.

I also took measurements today. And found this website that asked for all sorts of measurements, to estimate one's body fat. It said mine was just over 40%. Obese. I guess BMI wasn't wrong. Why do I even bother? I walk for 45mins, 4x/week. I go to lyra 3x/week. I do this damned stretch and strengthen video once/week. I also try to hoop and do some pullup bar work a couple times/week. My diet is great! Carbs reasonably low, protein reasonably high. I can't imagine eating any differently. I log/weigh everything. Nothing is fucking working! I've had bloodwork done many times in my life, it all comes back normal. There's nothing wrong with me except me. I'm what's wrong with me.