Practice last night was the best I've had in a long time. And I mean, a long time. I felt like something had changed a bit. Coach was being way positive with everyone, pointing out the things they did well, even me. Teammates were trying to be positive with others. And I felt this clicking where I just kept doing well, kept getting hi-fives, everyone else seemed to be feeling the positivity, too.
This is what I want for this team. I know mistakes happen, and they need to be corrected. But just think how much more amazing we'd become if we were shown all the things we do well, rather than all the things we fuck up? The motivation that comes with positive reinforcement really can't be beat.
We have a bout on Sunday. My first HOME bout. With my very own jersey. I'm excited and nervous. I might even go to the after party to celebrate with the team. I don't care if we win or lose. I'm finally playing derby. I'm finally having moments on the track where I'm super effective. Am I still a shit show sometimes, yea. Am I still hella anxious at the very idea of taking the jammer panty, fuck yea. Am I still feeling weird and excluded by most members of the team, definitely yea.
But I'm a derby skater. No one can take that away from me. I finally did it. After all these years.
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