Sideways Sads

Silks was rough again. But it shouldn't be. Let me explain.

I was kicking ass. It was my third day in a row of an aerial class, so I should have been a bit on the tired side. I didn't feel that; I felt great.

I did the best straddle of my life. I'm still catching my foot but not as heavily. And I am finally getting that stack. My problem in the past has been my legs don't get parallel to the floor, which makes my bottom heavy, and I fall back down out of the straddle. I've been working on this without much success. I'll straddle so I can see myself in the mirror, and I'll see that my legs are sort of angled up toward to ceiling but getting them parallel is hard. I'm slowly getting them down. But I know I'm also hunched over. When I try to stack, somehow my body sends a signal to my legs to straighten out, thus sending them back toward the ceiling again. And I fall out of the straddle. So I've been trying to stack with just my upper back. I think to myself, tits out. And it worked last night. My thighs weren't squeezed together. My legs were parallel. And my back was mostly stacked straight. It felt awesome.

I wish I'd gotten a picture.

Then ball flows. I recently graduated to a single wrist wrap and felt very comfortable with that. Yay, no more double wrist wraps. But then last night, I tried no wrist wrap, and it was awesome. All three rounds of ball flows, no wrist wraps, super solid in my grip. The teacher saw one of them and exclaimed how great I looked.

But then...sideways middle. My teacher thought that perhaps, since I was able to get it on lyra, it would finally start clicking on silks. Not.even.close. I don't know how people do it. I won't say I'll never get it. But I don't think I'll get it until I have a flawless from-the-air straddle inversion. And that's not happening anytime soon. Maybe a year? Who fucking knows.

So that got me down, and I was trying not to cry. The teacher came over for one last move and asked whether I wanted single footlock series or leg wrap. Definitely leg wrap. Then she had us go to man in the moon. I remember early on really hating this move because the wraps hurt my ankle. Not last night. It was pretty perfect. Of course, I got no video.

Yes, overall, I should be looking at last night as a success. But I can't seem to shake the sads from damned sideways middle.