OMG! It was so fun. So.Much.Fun. I kept waiting for nerves. Had a few butterflies, but nothing bad, overall I was just giddy. Had to get up at 5am. oy. Got to the rink by 9am. Warm up at 10am. Just before the warm up, the captain pulled me aside for the best derby pep talk. She said, "so if we lose today..." And I replied, "it's my fault?" Yea, that's me attempting to be funny. She said, it is NOT your fault. Then she told me we win as a team, we lose as a team. That I'm gonna get yelled at. It's nothing about me. It's that they're out of breath, and that's the only possible volume. She knows I'm ready. She wanted me to pass assessments on Thursday so I could bout on Saturday.
My first jam was about the fourth or fifth. I remember thinking for a quick moment, this is my first jam ever, remember this. Then the whistle blew, and I don't remember much after that. A jam or two later, I do remember getting a nice hit to the opposing jammer, hitting her out. But I fell down. That's about the only highlight I can really remember.
It was just fun though. I couldn't have cared less about anyone watching me. Didn't feel embarrassed falling. We lost, though. 150 to 141. So close. We had it at the end, got the lead, but not for long. As someone said, "we won for a minute." Yep. And I didn't get sent to the penalty box once. Mostly because I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
I have a team now. I'm a bouting skater. I'm no longer that girl, the girl who can't pass assessments. People can come see me bout now. Cuz I learned something really important: I can't think about who's watching me when I bout. It's all about the game. And where's the fucking jammer?
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